"Mom! You might want to get a towel..."

"What the..?...Why do I need a towel?"  I was dosing in the chair while my son and his friend that's staying over were playing.  They were playing right behind the chair I was sitting in, I know this because I could hear them.  I wasn't all the way asleep, but I wasn't all the way awake either.  Their both 10 so it's not like they need me to keep an eyeball on them every second.

  Let's rewind the day a bit.  This morning I was up at 6:30 as usual(because my internal clock thinks I'm a damn rooster), and I was surprised to walk to the bathroom in the dark house to see that  the door was shut and the light was on.  Hmmm...so I listened and nothing, just reaching to knock on the door and my youngest son pops open the door. "Hey Mom...I woke up REALLY hungry but I felt like I might puke so I went in the bathroom just in case."  Okay...blah blah blah mutter mutter...only half awake..."great, hope you feel better..."  After he ate he said his stomach was hurting a bit...he does have some mild food allergy issues so I gave him a Benedryl.  He had a basketball game this morning, so he played that, and played HARD, I swear he was playing tackle Basketball out there...YIKES!

I know this is really blurry, but he's got that crazed look on his face.

 At least I didn't see any other Moms giving me dirty looks.  He's one of the few kids on the parks and rec league to obtain a technical foul..Eeep!  "Uh...son, you really can't slam the players from the other team into the wall...it's not allowed."   Afterwards he said his stomach was hurting again.  So went home dropped him and DH off and ran to the store and got some Vernor's, he drank some, ate some lunch, felt better.  His friend came over to spend the night, and we're good.

Til just now, I'm dosing in the chair, minding my own business, their playing Hot Wheels behind the chair, he sneaks up on me..."Mom! you might want to get a towel...!"  Me: "What the?! What do I need a towel for?"  Son: "you MIGHT want to go look in the bathroom".  At this point I'm thinking...Hell no I don't want to go look in the bathroom, cause whatever the hell went wrong in there, I'm really not in the mood to clean up and WHY can't you people ever think to go get your father when this shit happens?  But I just daisedly follow the child to the bathroom.  Once again the light is on and the door is shut.  So I look at him, he looks at me, and he says..."no one's in there, I just shut the door cause it was gross."  My brain says, Oh shit.  "Okay son."  So I open the door and THE MOST HORRIBLE odor wafts out...OH DEAR LORD and baby Jesus..what the hell! Pretty sure I said "What the hell?" out loud, the poor boy says..."I had to puke and I thought I was done so I started to get up and it just shot out and I missed...sorry Mom".  Well at least he said sorry...then he says, "but I finally feel better, I knew it was gonna happen sooner or later."  OH. My. God.  did it ever, that was the nastiest puke I've EVER cleaned up, I have four kids, I've seen it all, and what they haven't puked up the dog has, I thought I was immune to puke for a lifetime. Hell, I've reached out to catch it so it didn't get on my couch, carpet, car seats, etc...(not from the dog of course...cause Euwww).  This... THIS was some NASTY shit!  I was in there thinking to myself, I don't need a fucking towel, I need a damn HAZMAT suit!  I don't think I've gagged while cleaning up puke since I was a teenager, I'm telling you at one point I wasn't so sure that I was gonna hold it down.  Pretty sure I used half a roll of paper towel, half a LARGE size can of Lysol wipes and half a can of Glade air freshener to get rid of that mess...EUWWW!  Paper towels are expensive, I'm like the paper towel Nazi, I'm stingy w/ those suckers, but NOT today, it wasn't worth it.  Got the bathroom all disinfected and the boy comes out a few minutes later and says.."thanks for cleaning that up Momma, sorry I made a mess."  Awww how can you be mad at that, poor guy.  "It's okay son...sometimes that happens, don't worry about it, glad you feel better."