Why is it so hard?

Why is it so hard to let my kid play basketball w/ kids that are 6 houses away?  Why?  I'm not a nutcase, I was not a sheltered child in fact I probably had too much freedom.  I was not abused, or kidnapped so what's the big deal?   It's six houses ya freak, just let the kid play and chill out, he's fine.   I have to keep telling myself over and over.

We were taking the dog for a walk the other day, me and my youngest son(10).  He was riding his bike, I was walking the dog, it was a particularly beautiful day for Michigan in February, 40ish degrees and sunny.  We have a pretty big "block" that we like to go around and we were on our way back, on our own street.  He was a bit ahead of me, about a house away, there were some boys his age playing basketball and they asked if he wanted to play.   At first he wasn't sure if they were talking to him so he didn't answer so they asked again.  He looked at me, "Mom..can I?"  I'm in a quandary at this point, what do I do, what do I say, should I say yes? I don't know any of these kids, I do recognize two of them that live kitty-corner behind us, but I don't really know them.  My brain is working overtime feels like 10 or 15 minutes, it's actually only seconds..then it hits me. MY PHONE!  That's it, I'll let him stay and he has to take my phone so I can call and tell him when to come home, and of course to protect him in case of kidnapping, pedophiles, deviants, bullies, ninjas, vampires or whatever other serious shit he falls into.  Wait!  I don't have my phone, shit! It's on the charger!  OK, "tell them that you have to go get my phone and then you can come back and play basketball".  "Ok Mom, where is it?  I'll just ride home and get it and come back!"  This kid LOVES basketball , he's so excited right now he doesn't know whether to laugh or cry and the fact that I'm gonna let him play somewhere that far from home and ride his bike back home all by himself...I bet he thought he won the freakin' lottery.  So I tell him, "No, I'll get it, I don't want you walking through the house in your muddy shoes".  Son: "I'll take my shoes off!" Yea right, since when have you ever remembered to do that before? Ok, fine I give in, go ahead.
Off he goes, I'm close enough to still see him but walking, about the time I get to the house he's been in and out and has my phone.  He takes off and I follow him a little ways, so I know he makes it there alright, he kept looking back at me to see what I wanted.  LOL  Poor kid.  Finally I walked back to our house, even the damn dog was confused, she couldn't figure out why the hell the kid was going that way, and we were going this way.  She kept looking at me like, "uhh hey...idiot, you left the kid, you don't leave the kid."  We got back home, and I tried to keep telling myself not to have a panic attack, he's fine, he's only 6 houses away, just chill.  He played for about a half hour and dinner was ready so I called him home.  I swear he was at the back door before I hung up.  Good boy.  And I took a deep breath and had a wine cooler.

Why am I like this?  I'll tell you why, because I've watched too many damn shows on TV, or movies about kids getting kidnapped, or killed.  I try not to watch them, but it seems like every day there's some news story about some similar thing.  They've got me scared to death, there's freakin' kid stealing ninjas lurking around every corner.  As I'm typing this there's news stories popping up on the sideline that I can paste in.  Were there less when we were kids?  I know the whole "Adam" saga was relevant to my childhood he was the same age as me.  Were there less instances or did our parents just not hear about them as much because they didn't have internet updating them on everything, all the time, instantly?

We lived in the country, around a lake, everyone knew everyone and all the kids rode the same buss went to the same schools and were mostly friends.  There was a little party store about a mile from our house that had penny candy, we'd walk there a lot, or ride horses there, or whatever.  We waded in the creek, we swam in the lake, or my best friend's pond.  We rode our bikes all over the place, we never even knew what bike helmets were, or riding helmets(horseback riding) , those were for showing horses English and that was it.  We were saddling horses and riding when we were LITTLE, by our selves!  I learned to saddle(an old, heavy western saddle) a horse from my friend, who learned it at camp, I was 10! We saddled them and rode them all over the place all the time, w/ no adults supervision at all.  My Mom and stepdad worked full time, my BFF's Dad did whatever...some farming..some bicycle races..I never did know what his job was..I think he was on disability.  Once we rode so far we got lost.  We were gone for hours, no one knew where we were, no one was looking for us, finally we let the horses lead the way and we made it back before supper and that's all that mattered.  We played outside in the dark, we caught fire flies, we did stupid things and lived through it...why can't it still be just that easy?

I'm on the left w/ the black mare, I was about 12 in this picture, yeah, I was wearing sandals and shorts to go riding.  Yep we had matching shirts too...how cool were we?

"Mom! You might want to get a towel..."

"What the..?...Why do I need a towel?"  I was dosing in the chair while my son and his friend that's staying over were playing.  They were playing right behind the chair I was sitting in, I know this because I could hear them.  I wasn't all the way asleep, but I wasn't all the way awake either.  Their both 10 so it's not like they need me to keep an eyeball on them every second.

  Let's rewind the day a bit.  This morning I was up at 6:30 as usual(because my internal clock thinks I'm a damn rooster), and I was surprised to walk to the bathroom in the dark house to see that  the door was shut and the light was on.  Hmmm...so I listened and nothing, just reaching to knock on the door and my youngest son pops open the door. "Hey Mom...I woke up REALLY hungry but I felt like I might puke so I went in the bathroom just in case."  Okay...blah blah blah mutter mutter...only half awake..."great, hope you feel better..."  After he ate he said his stomach was hurting a bit...he does have some mild food allergy issues so I gave him a Benedryl.  He had a basketball game this morning, so he played that, and played HARD, I swear he was playing tackle Basketball out there...YIKES!

I know this is really blurry, but he's got that crazed look on his face.

 At least I didn't see any other Moms giving me dirty looks.  He's one of the few kids on the parks and rec league to obtain a technical foul..Eeep!  "Uh...son, you really can't slam the players from the other team into the wall...it's not allowed."   Afterwards he said his stomach was hurting again.  So went home dropped him and DH off and ran to the store and got some Vernor's, he drank some, ate some lunch, felt better.  His friend came over to spend the night, and we're good.

Til just now, I'm dosing in the chair, minding my own business, their playing Hot Wheels behind the chair, he sneaks up on me..."Mom! you might want to get a towel...!"  Me: "What the?! What do I need a towel for?"  Son: "you MIGHT want to go look in the bathroom".  At this point I'm thinking...Hell no I don't want to go look in the bathroom, cause whatever the hell went wrong in there, I'm really not in the mood to clean up and WHY can't you people ever think to go get your father when this shit happens?  But I just daisedly follow the child to the bathroom.  Once again the light is on and the door is shut.  So I look at him, he looks at me, and he says..."no one's in there, I just shut the door cause it was gross."  My brain says, Oh shit.  "Okay son."  So I open the door and THE MOST HORRIBLE odor wafts out...OH DEAR LORD and baby Jesus..what the hell! Pretty sure I said "What the hell?" out loud, the poor boy says..."I had to puke and I thought I was done so I started to get up and it just shot out and I missed...sorry Mom".  Well at least he said sorry...then he says, "but I finally feel better, I knew it was gonna happen sooner or later."  OH. My. God.  did it ever, that was the nastiest puke I've EVER cleaned up, I have four kids, I've seen it all, and what they haven't puked up the dog has, I thought I was immune to puke for a lifetime. Hell, I've reached out to catch it so it didn't get on my couch, carpet, car seats, etc...(not from the dog of course...cause Euwww).  This... THIS was some NASTY shit!  I was in there thinking to myself, I don't need a fucking towel, I need a damn HAZMAT suit!  I don't think I've gagged while cleaning up puke since I was a teenager, I'm telling you at one point I wasn't so sure that I was gonna hold it down.  Pretty sure I used half a roll of paper towel, half a LARGE size can of Lysol wipes and half a can of Glade air freshener to get rid of that mess...EUWWW!  Paper towels are expensive, I'm like the paper towel Nazi, I'm stingy w/ those suckers, but NOT today, it wasn't worth it.  Got the bathroom all disinfected and the boy comes out a few minutes later and says.."thanks for cleaning that up Momma, sorry I made a mess."  Awww how can you be mad at that, poor guy.  "It's okay son...sometimes that happens, don't worry about it, glad you feel better."

The presents are wrapped! (well...most of them)

When I was a kid I used to LOVE LOVE LOVE wrapping presents, it was my favorite part about Christmas.  When were old enough that we didn't believe in Santa anymore my Mom would let me help wrap my siblings presents and I was in heaven.  Wrapping so carefully, making sure the corners were neat and the bows and tags matched.  I loved it.

 Then I grew up and had kids.

You know w/ the first kid's first Christmas you want it to be amazing. When really the kid isn't even gonna know what to do w/ the present let alone that there's actually something inside that you think they need, cause let's face it at that age the only thing they need are fresh diapers and food.  So you go out of your way to make all (why does a baby need more than one present?) the gifts looks special, ribbons, bows, tags, fun wrapping paper til it looks like Martha Stewart puked Christmas all over your living room.  You finally drag your exhausted butt to bed around 1:00 am and the baby wakes you up again at 2:00 for the nightly feeding, or just because you were too damn loud and woke him/her up.  If you're lucky you make it back to sleep before said kid drags your butt out of bed again at 4:00 am for another feeding and clean diaper.  You figure "well hell, we're already up lets open presents!" because at this point you're more excited about it than the kid.    You help them unwrap the presents, the kid goes for the box the toy comes in and plays w/ it all day, could care less about the toy that every parenting magazine on the planet suggested for "stimulating entertainment" guaranteed to make your babies I.Q. go through the roof any second.

Second kid, you're still trying to be Martha Stewart, but you know it ain't gonna happen and go to bed at midnight after a wine cooler chaser to your milk and cookies. You're down to screw the ribbons, stick on some bows and tags(cause now you have TWO kids them tags are IMPORTANT!). Christmas morning, same thing, the box is better than the toy, only now the kids are fighting over the biggest box cause it's ones "fort" and the others "garage", heaven help us.

Third kid, you were exhausted when you woke up this morning so there's no point in staying up past 10:00, nobody really likes milk and cookies that late at night.  Take a bite of a cookie spit it in the trash dump some milk down the drain.  Throw some bows in the general direction of the presents, hopefully they'll look good..yea take that Martha Stewart...all that and I still look good and got to bed before you BIOTCH!

Fourth kid, there's no end to your state of exhaustion, you're not sure whether you're just getting up or just going to bed, fuck Martha Stewart and the horse she rode in on.  Cutesy wrapping paper...huh?  That's why God invented gift bags there's one of those suckers for every size present!  Hot wheels... no problem, Barbie Hummer..no problem, Bicycle..no problem, Pony...hell yeah bring it.  Bows you say?  WTH? Why waste time w/ that the kids are just gonna tear through everything like a freakin' hurricane and it all goes in the trash anyway.  10 minutes tops...and guess what?  The freakin' box is still more fun than the presents:

SO I just got done wrapping presents again this year, no there are no bows, they don't look like anything Martha Stewart would even bother to glance at. There are still of course a few gifts on the way here from the Gods at Amazon who decided to ship 4 items in 3 boxes even though all items were in stock and shipped on the same day....what do I care it's their dime, I got FREE shipping baby!  They have Christmas paper or gift bags or a combination and of course there are those ALL IMPORTANT gift tags...cause yeah when you have four kids the tag is the LAW.   I'm sure the kids will be scarred for life but so far I haven't heard any complaints...they're still playin' in the box.

He's 17 already?

This is my first baby.

He turned 17 on July 20th, I love this pic :D  Yea, he's kind of a hippy w/ his long hair, but ya know what?  He's a great kid(they all are), really sweet, loves his Mom(of course that makes me grin),  loves to learn(though hates to do homework), smart as a whip, and I can't believe he's a Senior this year.  It doesn't seem like all that long ago he was just a little itty bit running around in his underwear(his favorite outfit), climbing walls(literally), making up songs w/ friends now he's almost an 'adult'.  I used to think my parents and grandparents were crazy when they told me "time flies..." or "before you know it..." now I know I was wrong of course because I can't help but think and say these things myself.  On the edge of proud tears...

They call that music?

At the risk of sounding like an old person...I love music, I listen to just about anything from classical to country, pop to metal, it's all in there.  I don't care for rap, though a few songs I enjoy.  Lately though I have to say the recent trend in music to get more and more explicit is irritating.  I like to listen to a particular local radio station, which is pretty much pop w/ a bit of this or that thrown in occasionally.   Lately more and more of the music is SO not appropriate for my kids to listen to that I have to change the station.  Now I realize we listened to what we THOUGHT was explicit back in the day...but I don't remember it being anything like it is now.  For instance Katy Perry's new song "Last Friday Night" Click for the lyrics in case you'd like to read them. Ummm...YIKES!  I think ok, if an adult wants to listen to that...well so be it, but an impressionable teen?!  Which is this station's target audience, so really?!  Why is it a hit?  Is it the beat? Is it the lyrics?  Why?  I didn't care for the song even before I stopped to listen to what it was saying...it just got worse after that.  This isn't the only song, lest ya think I'm picking on Katy Perry.  Though she does have a number of songs that I wouldn't deem appropriate for anyone under 13 and that's pushing it.  There are quite a few, and lets not even get into the other genres death metal, screamo, etc...So much junk there.  I know we have freedom of speech and need to maintain it, but for the love of God some of this stuff is just NOISE!  On the edge of nixing that station..