Total Pageviews

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Walking and positive thoughts

  So I walk, I decided this spring that I was too fat and I worked in an office job, at a desk all day. I was coming home sore every day..and not getting any healthier. So I walk, I started out at a mile a day, now I'm up to 3.5 miles a day and I've lost 20 ponds. I could stand to lose a lot more but at least I'm better than I was. I like my shadow(which I'm having an awful time getting a good pic of) and my dogs are healthier too. 

My walking buddies for today, I don't usually take all three of them together, but the ones left behind go ballistic and try to get out the fence, so I gave it a shot.  Made it back, no blood was shed, and but for a blister on my finger we did fine.  Usually if I have all three I make one of my kids go too so they can handle a dog.  Luckily two of them are small so it's not too much work.  

That brings me to the Positive thoughts, I have to admit not all my thoughts were positive while walking my three dogs, but usually I try.  I see on my facebook newsfeed a few of my 'friends' must have taken a challenge or something where they have to post 3 positive thoughts everyday.  Now I do understand that this is actually a challenge for some people, as this is what I've been told, and especially with Robin Williams dying recently of suicide, but I just can't fathom not being able to have at least one positive thought everyday.  It must be absolutely awful to have to live that way.  I don't have an easy life, and I can't say that it has ever been stellar, but let's just talk about the last couple years.  My husband died of brain cancer, I was laid off because of downsizing from my full time job, and my landlords decided they want me to move out so they can sell the house that I live in.  Maybe I'm just lucky, maybe I don't have whatever gene it is that keeps people in the pit of despair.  Have I gotten depressed before, sure, but not long lasting, devastating depression.  There is just too much beauty in this world that lifts my spirits to be stuck there.  A beautiful sunset/sunrise, a blooming rose on my rosebush, a pretty butterfly, puppies, my beautiful kids, the fact that I wake up and take another breath everyday.  Yea I have plenty of crap to get down in the dumps over, and sometimes I get there, I just don't have the time to stay. Life moves incredibly fast, if you don't move with it the best moments are lost forever and you can't get them back.  I'm not trying to hurt anyone's feelings, I just don't GET it...I just don't, and I don't think it's something you can make people understand unless they've been there.  I am incredibly sad that the world lost Robin Williams, where was his support system?  Didn't he have anyone to talk to? No one?  Such a tragedy.

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

No need to worry...no man will even consider looking at you!

As if cramps, bloating, and PMS weren't enough, women are also blessed with the fabulous hormone related acne outburst that comes with your "monthly gift" as well.


Just in case you had ANY thoughts of going out and maybe feeling attractive for any reason, you can just bottle that shit right back up and seal it away for at least a week...probably longer.  EVERY freakin' month, it's like a GIANT flashing sign, to any dude on the planet, guess what here comes your favorite big red pimple to go with all the other fun.  Do guys get that?  Probably not, but every woman you see knows, why? Because they have the same problem!!  Add in the bloating and the impossible to resist chocolate cravings and it's a wonder that all women don't weigh 400 lbs.  Not sure why we were blessed with all the drama, what do guys get?  They have to masturbate for 5 to 7 days because they can't get near us without the possibility of extreme bodily harm?  Oh poor them! I feel so bad for them...NOT! 

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Downsized....again.

It has been an exciting day,  I got a phone call on my way to work and it was two of my best friends on speaker phone calling to tell me that one of them had been "let go" that morning, well that one happens to work at the same place I do and has worked there for 19 years.  She's good at her job, works tirelessly, takes on special projects, is the manager for our floor and just basically the model employee.  She was at work this morning when the new CFO and the HR lady walked into her office and started explaining to her why she was being let go, and that they would wait while she cleared out her personal belongings and was escorted out the building.  Well her and her husband were sharing a car today, and she and I live about three minutes apart so she asked them if she could just wait til I got there and I could give her a ride home.  They told her no that I had work to do and that she couldn't wait in the building or even in the parking lot, she needed to leave the property...yes this is how they treated this big hearted woman who's given them 19 years of service.  So she walked across the street to store there and waited for her husband to pick her up.  Did I mention it was also rainy?  Yeah...nice, real nice.

 So I heard all this one the phone on the way to work.  When I got out of my car and walked toward the building (I was off the phone by now) I see the CFO standing there.  I say "good morning" and he asks if he an see me for a minute.  I guess.  So I asked him if I was getting fired too.  He said nothing.  We go into an office where the HR gal was waiting with a folder of paperwork and then they explained to me why I was being "let go" due to downsizing.  I was not allowed to get my personal effects from my desk, I was not even allowed to go near the elevator, I was escorted out the building and to my car.  I told them, "well at least I don't have to wait in the store parking lot...that was really rude".  So I was right.  In all 8 of us employees got downsized today.  For me, yea it sucks, but I hated that job anyway, and I was already looking for another job, they just gave me a shove into being more serious about it.  I'm just really disgusted with how they treated my friend.  After that many years, to just throw her out in the street. WTF!?  I hope they go out of business, dirty bastards.

 Went home filed for unemployment, went down the MI works office and got registered, can't wait to find something better!  Made a great dinner that I would usually not have time for, and can't wait to sleep in tomorrow!  Moving on to better things.

Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Is it wrong to love the bathroom at work?

Is it?  Here's why I love the bathroom at work...

It's nearly always clean (now that the other building tenants moved out) and smells nice.  I said "nearly"  there is that one time a day when someone must go in there and drop ass like they've been holding it for a month and it reeks like a bloated corpse.  There is an automatic air freshener, but that just makes it smell like flowers covered in shit.

The toilets flush like Niagara Falls, and even if they happen to get clogged it's not my problem.  I just pass the word on and it gets fixed.

They are women only so it's pretty rare that you ever find pee on the seat, unless someone brings their toddler to work.  Well I guess if you're a hoverer(apparently that's not a word, blogger underlined it) it would be possible, so maybe they are just better about wiping it off afterward.

The trash is emptied nightly so there's no nasty trash, or floss hanging out of it, or anything like that,  AND I don't have to do it, another bonus.

There is not STUFF all over the counter that no one can seem to put away, you know toothbrushes, combs/brushes, toothpaste, empty toilet paper rolls, pony tail holders, hair clips, etc...

Lastly, there are FOUR toilets, glory glory hallelujah!!  So no matter when ya gotta go, chances are there's an open toilet.  NOT always the case in my house.  I live with my four pigs..I mean kids, 3 of which are boys, and ONE bathroom....the bathroom is truly nicer at work.

P.S. FORGOT ONE!  No one knocking on the door as soon as  you go in.  It seems like lately AS SOON AS I walk in the bathroom and shut the door my daughter is knocking on the door.  To which I say, "What do you need?"  She says, " I have to go to the bathroom".  So I say, "Well so do I!". Sheesh!  I thought I was beyond the years of having to pee with the door open, but now I wonder why I even bother to close it.  She's 10 yrs old, it's not like she's 2 and needs to go RIGHT NOW.






Sunday, January 5, 2014

Snowpocalypse? Winter Storm Ion...or whatever you wanna call it.



This is the beginning before the actual storm started.

So the kids are still on Winter Break well until tomorrow...or supposed to be.  However we are in the midst of a "blizzard" and school has already been called off and our whole city declared a "snow emergency" by our governor.  So the kids are excited, honestly so am I as it lets me sleep in a half hour longer when I don't have to take them to school.   Not sure about most parents, but I love a good snow day, we live in Michigan and its been a few years since we've had any good snow to speak of over winter.  We went out and shoveled the driveway and we had a good time, laughs and fun and it took hardly anytime at all.  The we went in the back yard and shoveled a path for the dogs since we have two small once and a lab.  Watching the dogs play in the snow was so much fun. This is our 9 month old puppy's first snow and she was having a great time playing in it.

I have to admit, I love the snow when it's like this...when winter has snow and fun, instead of mud and rain.  We've had some really crappy winters as of late, so it's nice to be able to enjoy a good snowy winter for once.

Saturday, February 23, 2013

So it's been a while

Still have that full time job, so it's been a while since I've been here.  If you've read the blog from the beginning you know that my husband was battling brain cancer.  Well he lost the battle on December 6th.  It was horrible, but he was surrounded by his loving friends in the end.  The last 2 months of his life were so confusing to me.  I'm not sure how it was for him because he was unable to make sense because of the swelling in his brain.  I wasn't able to attend all his doctor appointments because of my job being new and still being a temp I didn't get paid for time off and we're not independently wealthy.   So I had to pull teeth to get information from the doctors.  He had an incident and ended up in the hospital...his neurologists office told me it could be a week or two for the swelling to go down in his brain and then he would probably be back to normal.  While in the hospital he seemed to be getting worse not better.  I was so confused, the damn doctors wouldn't call me back, the nurses were clueless.  For 5 weeks of his stay in the hospital I had no idea we was going to die soon, that the end was so close, that he would never come home.   Finally one of the doctors called me back.   I was sitting at my desk at work and this douchebag calls me.  I said, "what's going on, where is he at, what is the prognosis?".   He says to me in matter of fact(heartless) voice, "He's gonna die."  So I said, "Well I've known that from the beginning, when are we talking here?"  He says, "I'd say he has less than  two weeks..."  Me: "WHAT!" I managed to get off the phone with him and then I went in my managers office, who also happens to be one of my best friends, and fell apart.  It was so surreal...after that I was contacted about hospice, I had to decide about  a lot of things that he had never talked to me about. It was the most awful thing ever.  He didn't have a will, I had asked and urged and so had his friends, but I guess he thought he had more time, as we all did, and he never got around it.  Hospice was much better than the hospital, they were very helpful and knew a lot more about what was going on. We have this huge family of amazing friends and all were welcome, anyone who wanted to visit him was able.  We even had a Christmas party in his room, and the staff was amazing. We decorated his room with Christmas lights, and paper snowflakes, and pictures of family and friends, drawings from the kids, it was beautiful. The nurses loved going in his room because it was so cheery.  Then nearly a week after the Christmas party one of the nurses called me and I was at work.  She said she didn't think he had much time left.  So I went and told my manager and left for hospice.  When I got there the nurse explained to me why she thought it would be soon.  My best friend Jamie came too for support, and then one of my other besties Chris, showed up.  It was sad, it was agonizing but knowing he wasn't in pain made it tolerable.  We stayed all day, talked about John, told stories of his life, laughed and cried together, the nurses were checking in frequently.  Then one of them told us it probably would be hours or less.   Chris had went down the hall for something and Jamie and I were standing by the bed looking at the pictures when he first stopped breathing.  It was just like a long pause.  Then he started again, so we let out a breath. Then a longer pause...then he started again....then  he stopped.  It was awful, and scary, and heartbreaking all at the same time but knowing he was no longer in pain, no more pokes, no more tubes, no more uncomfortable, made it bearable.  We called the nurse, they checked him and called the time.  More decisions to make, more calls to make...things happened fast from there. The funeral was arranged, a friend of my father in law was performing the service.  I should have asked to hear his service, but I didn't.  It was awful,  he didn't say my kids' names right, he talked about some guy John couldn't stand as being his good friend.  He said out loud that I had asked for it to be short and sweet...WHO DOES THAT?!  Most horrible funeral I have ever been to.  Then as soon as it was over they basically kicked everyone out, I didn't get a chance to talk to anyone...I was SO mad, still am about that.   It didn't feel real for a long time, since he spent so much time in the hospital I just felt like he was still there.  It has started to sink in.  My sons basketball team has started up and usually my husband would help coach, and he's not there. Life goes on of course, kids still need to get to school and activities, I still have to work, but he's not here.

Sunday, September 2, 2012

Times are changing..

I was gonna post this last weekend, but of course I got busy with life and it didn't get done.


So last Friday night, I decided to have a nice bonfire in the back yard and a few marshmallows.  There was a time this would have brought all the kids running.  Not so much anymore, my big guys were at their dad's.  My son was watching some sports something or other w/ his dad...so it was just me and baby girl(she's 8..almost 9), OH! and our retarded, marshmallow, loving dog.  We didn't mind, it was nice.  So we sat and enjoyed the fire for a while chatted a bit, roasted some marshmallows, tossed a few to the dog.  Then as I was mellowing out, she was getting bored.  I could tell cause she was getting wiggly.  It was fairly dark, and the fire was nice, the neighborhood was quiet.  I was content to just sit there and watch the logs burn.  Finally she asked me, "Mom..can I play w/ your phone?"  I figured, what the heck, I don't let her use it very often, no big deal, so I handed it to her.  She says, "Ya got any games on this thing?".  It's fairly new and I don't really like games, so no I don't have any games.  Then she decided to go on Twitter and figured that out.  She was off in phone la la land, happily amusing herself quietly beside me. I enjoyed the fire, she enjoyed the company and the electronics and we coexisted.  I sat there thinking to myself, "I never would have pictured this when I was a kid"   Really, sitting in my back yard letting my 9 yr old play w/ a cell phone that was smaller than my hand, fits in my pocket, doesn't require a "BAG" to carry it around because it weighs 12 pounds, didn't cost me $4000, AND has the internet w/o being plugged in.  WOW!  Culture shock.  When I was her age I would have just been content to sit and watch the fire.  Things were simpler, slower...we didn't have to go go go all the time.  Maybe it was just because I was a kid, maybe it still felt hectic to my Mom, I don't know.  We didn't have all day kids programming, if you missed cartoons when they were on, you missed them, we didn't have DVR's, hell we didn't even have cable cause we lived to far out of town.  We lived on a lake, we had bikes, my girlfriend had horses, we were busy having fun, being kids.  Life is so much different for kids now.  They'll never have to open an encyclopedia or a dictionary, you can find all that online.  You never have to miss your favorite show, and heck if by some chance you did, they'll rerun it so many times you'll be sick of it.  You don't have to worry about talking on the phone somewhere the cord doesn't reach (we still have a land line, but cordless phones of course).  One of the BIGGEST things when I was a kid was to have a phone in your room, hell now ya just walk it right in there, no big deal.  Ours even work outside.  You don't have to leave your house to rent a movie, you don't have to rent a VCR to watch it LOL (ever do that? we did!).  No one cares about going to the arcade, cause you just play video games at your house.  You don't need to ask for directions to anywhere just look it up on your phone, and it will take you there.  SO many more things, it's just amazing how fast it all changes.  You know when your a kid and your parents or other adults say things like, "In a flash you'll be a grown up, time goes by so fast" and you laugh it off, SURE I will.. It's so true.  You blink and the week is over, blink again and it's been a year.  My oldest son turned 18 in July, the middle one is 15, the youngest son is 10 almost 11, and baby girl will be 9, another year of school starts on Tuesday, where did the time go?  Tonight, if it's not raining, you'll find me sitting by the fire, trying to hold on to one more night while time flies by.