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Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Why can't you just buy the cream?

Seriously, why haven't they just come up w/ a way to sell you the creme/cream?  That shit is AMAZING!  I know I know it's probably full of preservatives and chemicals and addictive endorphins or some shit, but it's DELICIOUS.  I would really like to be able to buy the creme from Little Debbie Oatmeal Cream Pies, or the filling from the Swiss cake rolls, and the Icing from Toaster Strudel. 

You can't make this at home, I know..I've tried every top secret recipe out there.  It's just not the same w/o the chemicals.  Sad but true.  They know this, that's why they are so damned stingy w/ it.  You can't buy it w/o the oatmeal cookie parts, you can't buy it w/o the cake roll, and that icing, be careful w/ the damn package or you'll lose it all.  I'm POSITIVE I'm not the only Mother on the planet whose toddler turned into a crying, screaming, ball of liquid snot because I screwed up opening the package and now I/they can't draw on their Toaster Strudel.  AND there are NO extras in the package, so unless SOMEONE want's to go w/o their icing (and let's face it, NO ONE is going to do that) there's nothing you can do.  You know how it goes, you try to rip them apart and you slit the whole side seam open, there's no drawing w/ that, it's time to get the butter knife and the Kleenex.  It slips out of your hands while trying to open it and lands in the dog's always something.  I don't even like the strudel part, just give me a packet of icing! Why can't they just put a few extra packages in there?   Don't they know SHIT HAPPENS!?  I though all of America knew that.

It's like they know what the best parts are, so they torture you by putting the bare minimum on it.  They are all sitting around laughing after work saying, "Dude!  We could put that shit between two pieces of cardboard and people would still buy it!"  Yea..they know they've got us by our wallets.  


  1. Seriously.... I didn't even have to read this & started drooling over the picture! I LOVE those flippin' things! Little Debbie is my friend - and I buy the BIG sized Oatmeal cakes & trick myself into thinking I'm providing a healthy alternative :) It works, right??

    1. Ha ha ha...don't get me wrong I love oatmeal cookies, but when it comes to Little Debbie Oatmeal Crack Pies...I really just want the middle.

      I use that same trick, funny though my ass keeps getting bigger so I don't think it's working.