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Sunday, May 13, 2012

Mothering from the trenches...

I'm sure you've all seen the Time Magazine cover.  REALLY?!  Why?  I haven't read the article, nor  do I care to, the cover is a HUGE turn off to me.  I Breastfed all  4 of my kids, but I sure as hell never did it like that.  I feel sorry for that kid in the future, no one is going to forget who he is.

Anyway. Being a Mother is like being in a war zone whether you work or you don't whether you breastfeed or you don't, the first... I'd say the first 4 years are just trying to keep yourself and your child alive.  As I said, I breastfed my kids, I never planned on keeping them in my bed they had their own little bassinet but I will tell you all of them ended up in my bed at some point.  It was just so much easier for ME to sleep if I didn't have to get all the way awake to nurse them in the middle of the night.  I'm a horrible sleeper, and a light sleeper, it doesn't take much for me to get fully awake and then my brain goes into overload.  I'm sure it's going: "Holy shit she's awake, well guess what, it's time for her to do quantum physics, and schedule doctors appointments, and worry about the bills and the kids and the dog, and the car, and solve all the world's problems....that should keep her up for a while!".   So they may have started out in their bassinet, but they ended up in my bed, right in the middle, wiggling and kicking and taking up space.  I'm happy to say that they all now sleep in their own beds thank God.
These are not my people but I've been in this position, borrowed(Stolen) from this  blog 
I did not breastfeed them til they were 4, because..I guess I'm just selfish, but I wanted my body back, 2 years was all I could handle.  Those things belong to me and I don't want to share them for the rest of my life. 2 of the boys gave it up before that, they were just too busy to nurse and that was perfectly ok w/ me.  The girls were already large and now they are forever doomed to be X-Large and of course saggy, thank God for underwire bras!  4 kids, that's a lot of breastfeeding, I'm SO SO thankful that they are all grown out of that, no more leaky boobs, no more nursing pads, no more special bras or shirts that I can't tuck in, no more pumping milk while at work,  no more trying to find a quiet place that's somewhat secluded if we are out in public.  I guess I could have just found a stool for them to step up on and whipped one out though, apparently that's acceptable. Who Knew?

I did NOT ever chew up my kids food for them and spit it in their little birdy mouths, I guess I'll have to answer for that when I hit the pearly gates.  I just figured that's for birds and not for humans because Euwww.
  I did of course test it w/ my own lips to make sure it wasn't too hot.  I also fed them while their food was warm and then ate mine cold, or had to reheat it by the time I finally got to it.  It's a wonder all Moms aren't anorexic looking but here's the secret.  You get fat because you end up eating the food that your kid didn't eat  on their plate.  It's a shame to waste all that food so I should eat it!  OR you hardly got any at all because you were so busy running around getting everything for everyone else so you eat it.  

I am apparently NOT a good potty trainer because all four of them took forever, I swear I thought they would be going to school in diapers, but they all finally got it before going.  Stubborn little shits!  I tried everything, treats, toys, charts, stickers, fancy toilet seats, they just all had their own agenda I guess.
When I was in high school I kept saying I would never have kids, don't say that folks, cause now I have four and only 1 of them was planned.  Yes I'm completely aware of how that happens, but when contraceptives fail, they fail, I tried.  I never thought I would put my hands out to catch puke before it hit the floor, couch, car, etc.,  I never thought I would drive a little recklessly so I could get home faster and get the SCREAMING child OUT of the car(my daughter HATED riding in the car), I never thought I would have to clean kid crap off the carpet, I never thought I would find the kitten in the refrigerator, I never thought boobs could leak enough to soak you to your undewear and...I never thought I could love someone as much as I love my kids.  All the crazy moments, all the nights of hardly any sleep, getting peed on, getting puked on, leaky boobs, eating cold meals, waking up w/ aches and pains because of the kids hogging the was all worth it.  I have four fabulous humans that I can call mine.  

Happy Mother's Day to all the Moms, the world wouldn't spin w/o us!


  1. What a fantastic post! I nursed my kiddos too (T until 2.5 and G is still nursing at 14 months) I wouldn't have traded it for anything but I certainly wasn't going to let them nurse until they are starting school either:) And oh do I feel your pain on the potty training thing. T took FOREVER too...thought the little bugger would never get it. Thank goodness for a little bit of good old peer pressure from preschool buddies or we might still be in diapers! Happy Mothers Day to you:)

    1. Thanks! I'd say if T has it down at 2.5 you're doing great! :D

    2. Oh jeez, I didn't read that right, obviously T's no longer 2.5 LOL. Yes, thank God for peer pressure.

  2. My kids took forever to potty train too. That TIME cover is whacko. That poor child will be in therapy for years. His whole life will be "you're that kid on the TIME cover. Dude! Your mom is HOT!" ick. And the birdy thing? Bear Blue Silverstone will be in group right next to the TIME kid. OY.