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Thursday, March 15, 2012

What's that SMELL!

OMGosh!  You all know what it's BO otherwise known as Body Odor...or toxic waste.   I work in a retail establishment, I wait on customers all day.  I love my job.  I really do, it's not bad at all.  Love the people I work with and generally enjoy being there.  HOWEVER, there are those times I want to run.  I want to run because someone walks in smelling like a Yeti.

  I have one customer...we'll call her the backpack lady.  She's very sweet, very soft spoken, always wearing a back pack (Not wearing like a cute, slouchy back pack off one Like a school backpack) looks clean, has clean clothes on... smells like a guys locker room.   She has THE WORST BO, I feel bad for her, she always has questions for me, and I try to stand as far away from her as possible and it takes ALL of my power NOT to say:
I can understand if you forgot your deodorant one day, but EVERY time she comes in it's the same thing.  How?  Can't you smell it?  I know *heaven forbid* if I have BO I can smell it and I fix it IMMEDIATELY.   I have extra travel size deodorants everywhere, in my car, in my purse...cause euuww!  I know I  know...some people think it's causes cancer...guess what?  BREATHING CAUSES CANCER, sleeping, living, causes cancer.  So PLEASE use some freakin' deodorant, or crystals, or baking soda or SOMETHING.

The other day I had a mother and grandmother come in to buy some stuff for their son/grandson and they REEKED of cat piss.  HOW can you not smell that?  If I picked my clothes out for the day and they smelled like cat piss the first thing I would do is get rid of the damn cat and then I'd burn the clothes because that smell NEVER goes away no matter how many times you wash it.  Even her check smelled like cat piss...Euww!  I have to touch that lady!

Then there's the smokers...OK I have friends that smoke and they don't walk around in a cloud of "Ode to Ashtray", so I know it's possible NOT to smell like you just pulled an all-nighter at the nearest bar.(Bars of course are no smoking now..but ya know what I mean).  When these people walk up to the counter to pay it's all I can do not to gag. It's like sticking your nose in an ashtray that hasn't been dumped in years.  They must have been chain smoking, in their car, with the windows up, for HOURS!  GROSS!

Last but not least the bad breath crowd...I'm not talking about people who just had onions and garlic for lunch...ok it's gross but's the people w/ that smell of death that comes out of their mouth.  Oh dear God help me.  It takes your breath away, you just wanna pass out!  WHAT IS THAT?!  Periodontal disease?  Gum Disease?  What?  It can't be just because you have rotten teeth, I have a cracked wisdom tooth that is obviously rotten because it broke in half.. my breath doesn't smell like that.  I brush and floss every day BECAUSE I'm paranoid of having bad breath.  Do those people just NEVER brush?  Ya know it's always the people that want to get right in your face to talk to you or ask a question too... PLEASE back up..for the LOVE OF GOD..please... I'm Meeelllltinnnng.  

I know I'm not perfect, I know there are times that I've smelled bad, but I try to remedy the issues ASAP to spare folks the discomfort.  Its just common decency really.  No one wants to smell one.


  1. O-M-G! Riiiight on! I can't stand the BO either! ugggh! So so gross. You totally made my day...glad I'm not the only one that doesn't understand how they can smell that bad and NOT know it...I mean, Come on! lol.

  2. how they can't smell it...obviously I can't spell. lol